8 YEARS SOBER: I QUIT ON CHRISTMAS EVE. YES, REALLY.

I took my last drink on Christmas Eve.

When I share that date, people usually look at me with a mix of confusion and horror. They ask, "Why didn't you wait for January? Why didn't you wait until the parties were over and the house was quiet?"

It’s a valid question. The conventional wisdom says we should change our habits when life is slow, calm, and predictable. We tell ourselves we will start "after the holidays”, "after the wedding”, or "when work calms down”.

But now I know a secret that most people miss: waiting for the "perfect time" is a trap.

If you wait for a quiet Tuesday to change your life, you are teaching yourself that you can only be healthy when the world is easy. But life is rarely easy. And honestly? I had tried quitting during “quiet” times and it never worked when I was counting on simple willpower. I tried “dry January” year after year and never EVER made it to the end of the month.

I didn’t want a fragile sobriety that required a safe, quiet room. I wanted a robust, rebellious freedom that could handle a cocktail party, a stressful family dinner, or a celebration without flinching.

So, I chose the chaos. I treated the holidays not as a "last hurrah”, but as a training ground.

The Myth of Willpower Most people fail at changing habits because they rely on willpower. They try to white-knuckle their way through the stress, staring at the wine glass and telling themselves "no”. That is exhausting, and eventually, it breaks.

I succeeded on that Christmas Eve because I didn't use willpower. I used strategy.

Here are the three shifts I made that allowed me to navigate the hardest night of the year without feeling deprived:

1. I Focused on "Adding," Not "Subtracting" When we focus on what we are giving up (the wine, the comfort), we feel deprived. Instead, I focused entirely on what I was adding. I added better hydration. I added deep breaths when the noise level got too high. I added a plan for how I wanted to feel the next morning (clear, energized, proud). When you fill your life with good things, the bad habits naturally get crowded out.

2. I Soothed My Nervous System I realized that I wasn't drinking because I was thirsty; I was drinking to down-regulate my nervous system from the stress of the holiday. Once I understood that, I swapped the tool. I used breathwork, stepping outside for fresh air, and moving my body to calm my nerves. I treated the root cause (stress), not the symptom.

3. I Decided the Outcome in Advance The hardest part of any decision is the debate. Should I? Shouldn't I? Just one? That mental tennis match is draining. By deciding beforehand—"I am not drinking tonight, no matter what"—I eliminated the debate. My brain was free to actually enjoy the conversation and the people, rather than obsessing over the bar cart. Believe it or not, I suddenly felt more free.

The Takeaway You don't need a New Year's resolution or a perfect, empty calendar to change your life. In fact, the best time to start is right in the middle of the mess.

If you can build a system that works when life is loud, messy, and stressful, you will be unstoppable when life is calm.

Don't wait for the perfect moment. Design a strategy for the moment you are in.